Hermione and the seven dwarfs
by weasleysgirl06
Summary: , “Mirror Mirror on the wall who’s Ron’s lady of them all.” “Lavender, you're the lady as for now, but Hermione Granger will win him over somehow.read and review please! i want at least 10. Parody of the childrens story. with harry potter humor.


Hermione Granger and the Seven Dorks

Hermione granger was snuggled up on the sofa in the common room reading an old childhood classic Snow White, she had always loved that story because it made her wish that a prince would come galloping on his white horse and save her just like the one in the book. It was her 6th year and the prince she thought she wanted was already taken, by none other than one of her best friends Lavender Brown.

In her eyes Lavender was a clumsy dimwitted idiot, with a big nose and boils on her face. Even though lavender was pretty and didn't have boils on her face Hermione liked to think of her that way.

When Hermione was finished with her books she fished through her bag and put it away, she then suddenly came across the Patented Daydream charm she received from Fred and George earlier that year. Wondering if it works, Hermione read the directions to her self and decided to give it ago. She pointed at the package with her wand and yelled "Activativa." Before she knew it she was in another setting she was getting ready for breakfast. She looked over at Lavender who was dressed in a purple gown and wearing a gold crown on top of her head smiling wickedly at the mirror. After Hermione walked out she could here lavender saying something, she looked back and saw that Lavender was standing in front of a mirror and said, "Mirror Mirror on the wall who's Ron's lady of them all."

"Lavender, you're the lady as for now, but Hermione Granger will win him over somehow."Hermione smiled and left down stairs for breakfast.

At that point Lavender was fuming her fists were clenched her face was red, and her teeth were gritted. "Mclaggen!" she yelled as she walked out of the common room And into the hall sown for breakfast. Cormac Mclaggen approached Lavender. "Yes my dear lavender" he said kneeling down on his knees at her feet. " Take Hermione Granger into the forbidden forest and kill her, then cut out her heart and bring it to me.She said forcefully. "But lavender I don't want to kill hermione Granger she's amazing and.."

"JUST DO IT YOU LITTLE TWIT!" she yelled.

"Yes, ma'am." Mclaggen follwed Lavender downstairs and entered the Great hall. He went over to Hermione who was sitting with Ron and Harry, and lavender came up to ron and sat next to him. "Hey Won Won, I missed you." She said giving him a slight peck on the cheek. "Hermione, I was wondering if you would like to come for a walk with me." Hermione who was already upset at Ron and Lavender agreed and left with him outside. The walked over to the forbidden forest and mclaggen started to walk inside. "What are you up to Mclaggen." Hermione asked. "Come on Hermione, where's your sense of adventure."

"Oh I've had plenty adventure being Harry Potter's friend already." She said.

"Come on."He said. Hermione follwed him im there amd they walked quite a long distance before Hermione felt Cormac whip her down on to the ground, and point his wand at her, "Avada, Avada, I can't do it, lavender wants me to kill you and rip out your heart and give it to her."

"Wow that's graphic." Hermione said sarcastically. "Run." Cormac said. "Run and don't go back to Hogwarts, or she'll kill you."

"This is barbaric." Hermione said. But being in a daydream she decided to play along. So Hermione ran through the forbidden forest, as far as she could away from Hogwarts, and was too tired to go on she found herself at a little brown cabin, she had never noticed it before. She went up closer and looked inside, nobody was home and she didn't want to intrude but she needed a place to stay. So she walked inside and saw to the left was the kitchen. She walked over and peeked through the cupboards and found some pouradge and ate some. She was so stuffed that she decide she needed to go to sleep so she walked along the hall and up the stairs into the only bedroom in the house when she opened the door there were 7 beds place all in a row. The first one read Doc, then Grumpy, then Happy, then Sneezy, then Bashful, then Sleepy, and finally the last read Dopey. She tried out all the beds and found the the one that was most confortable. Which was infact grumpy's. She layed down and went to sleep.

When she opened her eyes it had seemed as if she had been sleeping forever but their were 7 figures standing around her. Strangely Doc looked like Harry, Grumpy looked like Malfoy, Happy looked like Neville, Sneezy looked like Goyel, Bashful looked like Seamus, Sleepy looked like Crabbe, and Dopey looked like Colin Creevy. "Harry, Malfoy, Neville,Seamus, Crabbe, Goyle, and Collin?" Hermione asked. "No." said Doc "Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sneezy, Bashful, Sleepy, and Dopey. Who are you."

"and what are you doing in my bed!" asked Grumpy.

"Well you see im lost, and I needed a place to stay." Hermione said.

"Please don't make me leave, I'll cook, I'll clean, please."

"Well we could use a cook, and we could use some cleaning." Said Doc. The others agreed except for Grumpy. They all loked a Grumpy who was in an angry state. And he agreed " But she can't sleep in my bed." from that day on Hermione did the cooking and the cleaning when the dwarves went off to work. Meanwhile back at Hogwarts, Lavender was looking at her mirror again, "Mirror Mirror on the wall who's Ron's lady of them all."

"Lavender, you're the lady as for now, but Hermione Granger will win him over somehow."

"That cant be she's dead I have her hear in this little box thing, she opened it up to show the face in the mirror, but saw that it was a little pink heart that said I love lavender on it."

"Why that Aquavarious Maggot im going to kill him." She snuck down into professors snapes closet and stole some of his poly juice potion. "If that Maggot didn't kill her I will." Lavender took the form of Hermione best girlfriend Ginny weasley and marched into the potions room to make alittle gift for Hermione "A little bit of asphodel with put her out." She said evily. Lavender to the bottled potion and walked into the forbidden forest and tried to look for the little cabin Hermione was staying in. It too her a little bit more than an hour and she finally got there, and knocked on the door. Hermione answered. "Ginny!'

"Herm, I've been looking all over for you?"

"How did you find me?"

" Mclaggen told me you ran off into the woods somewhere, Lavender's trying to kill you."

"I know, that's why im hiding."

"Well I brought us some, pumpkin juice, thought you might miss it being way back in the forest and all."

"Ginny, tell me whats your pigmy puffs name."

"Why do you care about that Hermione?"

"Just tell me."

"It's Arnold Hermione."

Hermione settled down in the chair and pushed her cup towards Lavender disguised as ginny. "Im sorry im just."

"It's alright,." Lavender poured her self some from a different tin without Hermione noticing.

Hermione was just about to drink when she thought of another test. "You know why Ron isn't talking to me anymore, how he could go that low to lavender, what does he see in her she's a horrid person ,and Ginny are you okay."

Lavender now was as red as a tomato, She then took a deep breath in and let it out and went back to flesh color. " Yeah im fine I just burnt my tongue, it really hurt."

"Oh well I better wait till mine cools down."

"I'm sure your's is fine Hermione."

"Well okay."

Hermione took the cup to her lips and the fluid slid down the edge of the glass into her mouth. And she swallowed. Hermione stated to feel funny, she got up and held her throat. "What" she scratched. Ginny was nowe turning back into lavender before her eyes.

"What do you think I am an idiot." Lavender said.

"That I would not do research on ginny before I came here, that I would lose my temper about ron dating me because of you."

"Im not as stupid as I look, now what you drank is asphodel and your slowly going into a deep sleep, and you'll die and I won't have to hear your stupid little mudblood mouth again, good night dear Hermione and good bye forever."

When lavender left just a few minutes after th dwarves entered the house to find Hermione on the floor with her eyes closed.

"Hermione." Said Doc.

"What's wrong with her." Said Grumpy.

"Is she dead?" asked bashful.

"She's not breathing." Said Doc.

The elves did what they had to do the placed Hermione into a glass coffin, and waited.

What they were waiting for they didn't know. They just stared at her beauty as she rested in the coffin.

"Hahahahaha" Lavender laughed evily."The little witch is dead and far in the forest where no one will find her and my Won Won is finally all mine."

She didn't see who was behind her when she saw that. It was Ginny. (the real Ginny) Ginny ran to find Ron and Harry and when she did they were playing chess.

"Ron, Harry, Something's happened, Something terrible's happened."

"What is it Ginny."

"Hermione's been killed."

"WHAT!" said Ron.

"ByLavender Brown I just heard her Hermione's in the woods somewhere."

Ron and Harry Ran outside.

"How are we going to get to her?" Ron asked.

Just when he asked that a white stallion popped up. "Where the bloody hell did that come from?" He asked.

"Ron you go find her." Harry said.

"Im not going in the forest alone, there spiders and beasts in there."

"Just Go!" shouted Hermione and Harry. The stallion rode off into the darkness with Ron upon its back.

Out of the Darkness Ron spotted a white light and followed it. There she was laying in a glass coffin with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. She was so beautiful. He didn't see the dwarves for they were not in his vision but hiding. Ron walked up to the coffin and put on hand on her cheek. And then slid it down to her chest to fell if she was breathing. A small tear carressed his cheek and fell on to hers. He knelt down on his knees and took her hands in his.

"Im sorry, Hermione, I never meant for this to happen, I just.. I just wanted to get you back. I didn't want to lose you. You're .. you.. you mean everything to me." He said He gently leaned in and whispered. "I love you." Into her ear. And gently kissed her mouth lingered there for about 5 seconds and got up and turned around. "Ron" he heard a voice behind him and turned back towards the coffin to see hermione in a white gown with a green ring of leaves around her head. "HERMIONE!" he ran up and hugged her and then kissed her again. She looked over. "Where did the horse come from?" she asked.

"No Idea." Ron said and took her hand and helped her up. That's when the dwarves came out with smiling faces. And said goodbye."

"Hermione" Ron whispered.

"Yeah Ron, Why do those dwarves look like the guys we go to school with."

"I was wondering ther same thing Ron."

"Oh.. Ok." "

"Giddyup." Ron said.and they rode off in the sunlight. Like the fairytale hermione always wanted.

Hermione was awoken from her dream bynone other than Ron Weasley.

"Hermione, What are you doing?" he asked

"Dreaming of my fairy tale ending." She smiled.

And the lived happilly ever after, for now anyway. The End

A/N so what happened to lavender well she found out that the mirror was right, and when ron and hermione got married in the daydream she was upset that the mirror told her that hermione got ron and smashed it resulting in her death when it fell on top of her and glass got stuck in her chest.

As for the real Ron hermione of course they didn't get married, but if they get togther we will have to find out in the 7th installment of Harry Potter. If Hermione really gets her fairy tale ending.

Also don't be mean. Im a harry potter fan but not a die hard one. I tried my best at getting the facts right. And asphodel is a powerful sleeping potion just like in snow white. I really hope you liked the story. Please review because its actually really cool.

Thank you!


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